Swap Goal Setting With Fear Setting
Now that 2019 has settled in I’m expanding an initiative I started on my Instagram to the blog. I labeled 2019 the year of intention, because it’s the 1st year out the gate where every decision I make will be measured against my intention, to be clear this is a forever thing! Every year I’ll revisit my intention to be sure it aligns with the life I want and will create. What’s important here, is all of you, my extended family, I’ll be sharing actionable ways you can explore living with intention.
I’ll share my primary intention for 2019: Build Community, now this may seem vague but I’ve outlined very specifically what that means to the core areas of my life, those core areas are:
If this sounds familiar, those are the focus areas of my company Empowomant! Quick update on Empowoamnt, I’m revamping my vision as we speak and you can expect wonderful things created to better serve all of you SOON! Ok now back to Intention.
I started “Intention Check-Ins” as live weekly chats on Instagram, I’ve decided the blog is a much better place to facilitate these conversations, 1) because they won’t disappear and 2) it makes it easier to refer back to our discussions and remain accountable.
The only way this works is by taking time to contribute to the conversation. Please leave your comments, thoughts, experience, or input in the comments. With that being said, let’s dig into fear setting.
I don’t know how I landed on this episode of Marie TV but I’m damn happy I did. THIS interview with Tim Ferriss blew my mind, I’m now a firm believer that all major decisions in my life require fear setting, not goal setting.
The dialog below is basically me regertating the powerful content from Marie & Tim’s exchange. I highly recommend watching the entire episode!
Here’s the quick and dirty of Tim’s perspective on how to successfully fear set (with a few of my own ad libs):
Take a decision or action you’ve been putting off that makes you really uncomfortable or that strikes fear
Use THIS definition (Tim’s) of RISK: The likelihood of an irreversible outcome
a) On a piece of paper or your computer write: What if I….(insert the action or decision)
b) Create 3 columns
Column 1 Define:
Write in detail, the possible worst case scenarios that can result if you make that decision or action
Detail how your life could fall apart, brain dump at least 10 worst case scenarios that could affect your life. I emphasize be specific so here consider these ex: I won’t be able to pay rent/mortgage, I could lose a relationship, I won’t be able to provide for my kids, I could ruin my career etc...make this list as long as it needs to be to reflect what the worst case scenario looks like for you.
Column 2 Prevent:
What are the things you can do or ask someone else to do to decrease the likelihood of these things happening
Create another list just like in column 1 of what you can do to prevent those things you listed as worst case scenarios. Again be very specific ex: Start driving Uber or generating additional income using Upwork or similar sites, get public assistance, discuss the action or decision with whoever you feel will be impacted by it in detail, Look at finding a new place of employment where they’ll be more understanding of your action or decision etc...
Column 3 Repair:
What’s something you can to do repair, get back on your feet temporarily, or reverse the damage of those worst case scenarios
Create another list here just like columns 1 & 2 ex: Move back home, downsize your lifestyle, make a pivot in your career to something that supports the action/decision, seek professional help (therapy), etc...
c) Don’t rush this and be 100% honest with yourself, this can change your life. Throw away ego, pride, or feeling ashamed to explicitly state your worst case scenario, LAY IT ALL ON THE LINE, only you are seeing this, these are things you need to face if you want to be successful and more importantly live a fulfilled life.
Tim said by doing this you’ll realize most of your list is preventable or reversible therefore you actually have very little risk associated with the things you want to do in your life.
Complete this exercise and share your thoughts in the comments
Next week I’ll be pulling from your comments so we can dive deeper into Fear Setting as a replacement for Goal Setting. I’ll also continue to host chats via Instagram live, for details on date and time for those chats, keep an eye out on my Instagram page.
Can’t wait to hear your results from this exercise xx